Finally, it’s raining again! Our region has been desperately waiting for some rain, everything was dry. So I guess it’s a good day – and generally I really like rainy Fridays.
But something just isn’t right today. I don’t quite know what it is, but I knew the minute I woke up that today would be hard. I have an exam in about three hours and I should be studying right now, but I can’t. I can’t focus on computer forensics. There’s just so much stuff going through my head.
I’ve realised that my life is going to change soon and that I have to make a decision a lot sooner than I’ve expected. The thing is, I don’t know what to choose. There are two things which I would love to do. One of them would be easy and not require that much change. The other one would mean turning my life upside down and leave almost everything behind. This could mean loosing friends or missing opportunities and important dates. I know that I could do the first thing in a few years too, but not in the same way I could do it now. Which path should I follow? The easy one, or the hard one? And what if I like them both?
I know loosing friends is a part of life, some people are just not meant to stay with you until the very end. But still – I thought I had a good friendship with someone, one which was meant to last. Then all of a sudden they stopped replying. And I can’t help but wonder: did I say something bad? Did I make them angry? I don’t know – but this makes me kinda sad.
I wish I could stop this stupid ovethinking. I’ve been in contact with someone I really like, and I enjoy being happy because of it. But sometimes I just end up thinking: What if something I said makes that someone feel bad? What if they decide they don’t like me anymore because of something I said? And texting surely doesn’t make this stuff easier, but it’s the only thing that’s left in times of corona. They say ‘trust that the things that are meant to be happen eventually’ – okay, but what if they don’t? How do I find out if I just have to let things figure themselves out or if I have to step in and fight for what I want? Ahhhhhh.
So, dear rainy Fridays – you are great. But also, you suck. Yours, Jessica.
So, if this person really is a friend, then nothing that you incidentally said could make them turn away from you. This is not what really friends do. If there really is a problem in communication with a real friend, maybe a misinterpretation or something like that, then they just ask again and you can clarify everything. But again… a slight misunderstanding CANNOT impair true friendship 😉
Whereas, if someone is a true friend, then this person will accept every decision you make (even if they don’t like it at all!!!) and will try to make the friendship work, even if it includes distance friendshipping (does this word even exist??? No, I don’t think so… 🤣)
❤️