So I know I haven’t posted anything on here for a while, and this is probably not the best topic to start with after a break, but I don’t care. I need to get this out of my head, because it is driving me crazy.
Covid-19 is a (relatively) new disease and we don’t know the long-term effects of it. Of course that leads to people being extremely cautious, especially those who already have illnesses. Social (or better: physical) distancing, wearing masks, working frome home, cancelled events…it does all make sense.
But…sometimes I’m just sick of all these limitations. I try not to think about it that often, but once I start it’s like a downward spiral. I start with thinking about how life was like a year ago, and then start to wonder if it will ever be any different again. How long will it take until Covid is over? What will life be like once it is over? Because surely life will never be the same as it was before this whole thing started.
So on some days it’s really hard. As a person who already has problems with overthinking things, Covid makes everything a whole lot worse. Because you can’t get out. You can’t really distract yourself. Sure, you could go take a walk. Take a deep breath. Calm down in nature.
But sometimes this just isn’t what you need. Sometimes you need to talk to a certain person – not just over the phone, but in person (those video calls are nice, but not the same). Sometimes you need a hug from someone different than one of your family members. Yes, family is nice, and I should be grateful that I still have my whole family. However, if your family members are the only people you have seen in months, that doesn’t make things better either.
Don’t get me wrong, as a person who is healthy and more or less has everything she needs, I don’t want to sound ungrateful. I get those restrictions. I get that we all need to be careful. I have never spent as much time home without having friends over as I have in the past 7 months, and I will continue doing that…but sometimes I just wish this was all over, and I could hug my friends just like I used to a year ago. That’s what I’m missing the most.
But I’m staying home. To keep my grandpa safe. To keep my family safe. To keep my friends safe. To keep the world safe. And WHILE I’m doing this, I’m trying to find out how to keep myself safe – because staying mentally sane is as important as staying sane physically.
Well, here’s to the journey of figuring life out. Because one thing’s for sure: you can never know what the future holds.